A Collegegirli Christmas Wish List

College girls (and boys) need a little extra for the holidays.  See my Top 20 Collegegirli Christmas gift ideas for the public school college student.

First, let's start with the obvious needs:
1. Money! We are broke! If you can't afford to send plain ol' cash, see my other ideas below.
2. Giftcards!  Think about sending gift cards from our local gas station or grocery store.  
3. Bills!  Pay off our electric bill or trash bill for a month.
4. Food.  Take us grocery shopping or send over a care package full of necessities.  Think perishables and canned/boxed/frozen items.  We need healthy food and food we can grab on the go.
5. Clothes.  We always need clothes because we wear them out quickly.  We need career clothes, school clothes, comfy clothes and WARM clothes!  Send us a gift card or take us shopping.  When it comes to paying our rent or buying food or buying clothes....well, clothes are the last thing on our list to purchase.  We are hungry!
6. Entertainment.  For the most part, we do manage to have this covered (cheers!).  However, sending us gift cards to movie theaters or tickets to an awesome Broadway play or sending us bottles of wine or other liquor is awesome. Maybe send us a gift card to a restaurant you know that we can't really afford to take ourselves to.  Laughing and having fun gets us through those tough finals and it's nice to go out and celebrate after working so hard in school.

Now let's look at some less obvious needs:
7.  Winter coat, hats and gloves.  If you do not see us wearing these, it isn't because we are disregarding your advice of dressing warm.  It is probably because we don't own these items any more.  
8.  Car window scraper.  Yes, us college students sometimes find random things to scrape off the ice when we don't have a windshield scraper.  
9. Snow boots.  We wear tennis shoes or we wear heels because of work.  Snow boots are a luxury.
10. Blankets, comforters and sheets.  We always need an extra set.
11. Towels and washcloths.  It is amazing how many times these items get lost.
12. Coffee and maybe a coffee pot.  Send us the cheap kind or make it extra special and send us a bag or two of a Starbucks blend.  We need caffeine and coffee is something we run out of quickly-especially during finals week.  
13.  Pet food or a pet store gift card.  Some of us have furry friends we brought with us to college or have rescued since starting.  Helping us to feed these critters goes such a long way!
14. Finals week care package: Help us take care of ourselves during crunch time.  Send ushealthy munchies like granola and protein bars as well as some not so healthy treats like cookies and goldfish. Throw in a $5 Starbucks gift card for getting coffee before our finals and add in a few $5 fast food gift cards so that we can eat on the go.  Make it extra special and add a note or two filled with your words of wisdom and encouragement.  
15.  Hair cut/style/nails.  We all need beauty  and style treatments, but we can't always afford to have regular hair cuts or manicures.  Send us a gift certificate to our favorite stylist or nail salon!  What a great treat for us college kids!
16.  Dorm room, apartment or house decorating gift card!  Send us a gift card so that we can invest in a few house decor items to make our college dorm look like less of a second hand furniture store.
17.  Toaster/Toaster oven or pots/pans. \ We may not have a microwave or toaster at our little home or pots and pans to cook with.  Send us something that we can use to heat frozen and boxed food.  Maybe add a few hot pads and cooking utensils.  
18.  Phone bill/phone.  Pay for our phone bill one month.  We rely on our phones for everything!  Our social life and our family life depend on them!  
19.  Internet bill.  Pay for our internet for a month or give us cable!  You can always get us a Netflix or HuluPlus gift card so that we can watch tv online.  
20. Ticket home.  This is my favorite gift idea.   <3  We want to come see you!  We miss you!  But, we can't always afford to come home for the holidays or a weekend because we can't afford to take the pay cut by taking the time off of work.  So, think about sending us money that enables us not only to come home, but that also covers us taking the time off of work.  This is a HUGE present that us college kids will forever be grateful for.  

We Bury The Dead, Do We Bury Our Grief?

I have been spending a lot of time thinking about grief and loss lately.  There has been a lot of grief and loss in my life over the past few years and I am just beginning to really accept it. 

Due to some of my hobbies, I have also been spending some extra time in cemeteries.  This caused me to start thinking more about the actual funeral processes and their resemblance to how we cope with our grief.

After a person dies, they are transported to a mortuary where their insides are removed and replaced with chemicals that preserve the body and prolong the decaying process.  Their bodies are embalmed.  The alternative is to cremate their bodies.  Their bodies are submerged into extreme heat so that their physical bodies are reduced to ashes.  This, in essence speeds up the decaying process so much so that there isn't even a process of decay.  So, on one hand, we prolong the decay; and, on the other hand, we accelerate it so much that we eliminate decay from taking place.

We bury the bodies.  Like we may bury our grief.  Or, we spread the ashes over something memorable and sort of set the body free.  This is like setting our grief free, detaching it from something we take home with us.  Some of us store the ashes in a container we display on a shelf.  This is similar to storing our grief and setting it on a shelf, only addressing it when it needs to be dusted or someone brings up something that reminds us of it.  

So, we cope by setting our grief free, out into the wind or the sea, we keep it contained in a tiny, delicate space, or we bury it, like we bury our loved ones in the ground.  Regardless, we maintain the memory of what once was and protect ourselves from acknowledging what now is.

We can't help but feel grief after a loved one passes on.  We are shocked, angry, hurt, lonely, helpless, depressed.  However grief hits us, we feel it.  But after the funeral, after going home without our loved one, do we really process our grief and allow ourselves to feel those feelings?  How does this affect us?  Do we deny ourselves the ability to heal by denying ourselves the ability to grieve?  I suppose the real question is, how are we denying ourselves the ability to heal by denying ourselves the ability to grieve?  And, how do we  begin to give ourselves the gift of healing?  

I recently read a book written for children called "Coping with Death and Grief" by Marge Eaton Heegaard. It was published in 1990 but her tips for coping with grief and stress are still valuable and effective.

Her tips are mostly prompts for self care including: eating healthy and avoiding junk food, getting enough sleep, making time for exercise, trying not to worry about the future and instead focusing on today, imagining good things happening for you, taking deep breaths, and allowing yourself to feel sad if you feel sad.  

Stay present with your feelings.  Notice them and, after you have felt them and acknowledged them, then comes the time to self soothe.  The other tip I would add for coping with grief and stress is to develop and strengthen your support system.  Coping with life is hard enough without having to cope with the loss of someone you love.   Talk to someone and let them know you are grieving.  

Grieving is not something that you cure overnight or even cure in years.  It is a healing process and as long as you remember your loved ones, you might always feel sad they are no longer with you.  This is ok.  This is life.  The hardest part for most of us is to actually accept that we have to move on in life and proceed without them.   We can.  It takes time for the sadness to become manageable.  But, there is sunshine at the end of the cloudy day.  There are still plenty of people in the world who are living that we can share our lives with.  Honor those we have lost and cherish the moments and people who are still here with us in the present.

<3

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Fall!

This summer went by waaaaay too quickly.  I can’t believe it is already September.

I can feel the temperature changing.  I already found myself purchasing fall mums and new pansies for the flower bed.  I LOVE FALL!!!

Fall is the beginning of the holiday season and it takes my breath away and sweeps me off my feet every single year.

 A quick update for me:

 I officially started Practicum this fall!  This means that I am counseling real, live families. I can’t believe it.

 I moved back to a city closer to my family.  I live in a cute little house and can't wait to update Le Renee on my house decor and holiday decor!

Lots more to follow and lots more postings ahead!

Cheers!  xoxox