Sponge-worthiness

Recently I have decided to start dating again.  I don't know exactly what I am looking for, but I am open to the experience.  I am constantly determining if the person I am connecting with is someone that I find to be interesting, intriguing, genuine, sweet, and potentially compatible with me.  Can I see a future with him?  Are my feelings about him worth it if I get hurt in the end?   After beginning to think about the possibility of dating someone again, I started really thinking about myself.  I spend all this time trying to determine if someone is right for me...but am I right for them?  What do I bring to a relationship, and is it enough?

We spend so much time while dating just trying to evaluate others, keeping our guards up or rushing right in.  Sometimes it's good to take a second and reflect on ourselves and check in with who we are and what we are really looking for.  Do we deserve more than what we are pursuing?  Or do we have some work to do?

Our Sponge-Worthiness

Think about these questions for yourself: What do I want in life?  What do I want in a potential partner?  Am I being honest with myself about what I need?  Am I able to acknowledge and accept my flaws? Do I understand where there are areas where I can grow?....Am I willing to grow and change?  

When I meet someone special, how will I recognize that they are special?  How will I know? Am I am able to share my heart with someone, love someone, be there for someone, grow with someone...Be inspired by someone and strive everyday to be the best me I can be?

These questions and thoughts are normal.  Doubts about the authenticity of the people we talk with, doubts about the possibility of ever finding the one, doubts about yourself and your self-worth...It's scary to put yourself out there!  What if it doesn't work?

It's important to notice when you begin having these thoughts so that you can change them into something that supports your needs, desires and dreams.   Remember, you can't get to where you are going if you don't keep going!  It's one thing to be appropriately guarded or hesitant to keep yourself protected in new relationships (I may or may not be guilty of this...(: )  It's another thing to become so hesitant and doubtful that you never go on that first or second date or that you never really put what you want into the relationship long-term, out of fear that you will be hurt.

The beauty about online dating is that, at first, there is a natural barrier between you and the rest of the world.  Use this opportunity to your advantage!  Step out of your comfort zone a little.  Take your time messaging potential matches so that you can make sure you say exactly what you mean to say.  Don't just settle for the first person who responds.  Be patient with the process and practice being the very best version of yourself that you can be.  Think about the movies Hitch and Housebunny.  Each leading character already had amazing qualities.  They just needed to do something a little different to position themselves for success.  Remember Carrie Mae and her unforgettable "...to do something mysterious" comment?  It was absolutely hysterical, and might have worked with the right guy.  But maybe our future dates don't need to see the fullness of our personalities until a few dates in...you know, after they are hooked! :)

Take the time, behind the monitor and keyboard, where you can edit, to build up your confidence and to understand more about who you are, what you want, and what it will take to get there.   Above all, have hope.  Albert Brenneman got his lady Allegra, and you too can end up with your match.  And you absolutely deserve the very best!!

Wherever you've been, whatever you've done, whatever you've been through, your future can be different, better, brighter.  Accept the past for what was, appreciate who you are now and work towards the future self you want to be!  You deserve love.  And the right person will find you to be very sponge-worthy!

You are you.  There is no one else in the world like you.  And you are the perfect match for someone else out there.  It's not easy and it can hurt, but after all, you have been there for everyone else.  Now, it's time for someone special to be there for you.  It will happen for you.  You just might have to save your sponges and try something a little different to notice when the right one comes your way.  <3

xoxox Le Renee